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- Famous "Quotes" From Our Moron Sports Heros
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-Jason Kidd
"Are you any relation to your brother Marv?"
-Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert
"It's almost like we have ESPN."
-Magic Johnson, on how well he and James Worthy work together
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
-Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982.
"Tom."
-Tom Nissalke, New coach of the NBA's Houston Rockets, when asked how he pronounced his name, 1966.
"I'll always be Number 1 to myself."
-Moses Malone
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
-Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.
---Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model
"I lost it in the sun!"
-Billy Loes, Brooklyn Dodgers Pitcher, after fumbling a grounder.
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
-Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
-Bill Peterson, football coach
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
-Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins, 1991
"I don't care what the tape says. I didn't say it."
-Football coach Ray Malavasi
"I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid."
-Former football player/announcer Terry Bradshaw
"I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."
-Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs, 1986
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.
-New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers
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