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Vol 685 - April 13, 2008 - 10 Reasons NOT to Jog

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Strange Comedian Quotes:

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
Mel Brooks

"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down." George Burns

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." George Burns

"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home." Bill Cosby

"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door." Jeff Foxworthy

"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more." Jeff Foxworthy

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - 10 Reasons NOT to Jog

10 Reasons NOT To Jog

1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is.

2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. Except when I run with a cosmpolitan!

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